Friday, May 15, 2009

The Faceless Self

I'm going to do something just a little different...a little creative...a little challenging. These are not my photos, but photos I found on google images. But it represents what I see and feel inside.

In my life....I have had a lot abuse...physical, emotional, spiritual, & sexually. I have alot of nitemares. Many times, people who are severally abused or traumatized, they find a way to protect themselves mentally, physically and disassociate themselves to prevent emotional death.
All I know is that in my nightmares, I see someone on top of me...beating up on me. I'm not sure who it is. I'm not even sure if this person is the man beating on my mother (and she died from it); or if this is my dad beating up on me....or if this is me beating on myself. Who or whatever it is...they are faceless. It is easier to wear a mask and be shameless, then to reveal our true ugliness and pain.


Often...in my nitemares, I experience real physical and emotional pain, as known as nite terrors. I can't always see who is trying to hurt, or destroy me physically and mentally...but they still terrorized me on a daily basis. Probably why I still need so much therapy (LOL).

Like many people out there, I am the faceless person who likes to wear a mask, to cover up my feelings I keep hiding deep inside. It is easier to wear a mask than to express our true self. It is easier to wear a mask than to be rejected and abandoned by those whom we love.

the self image shots

Ok...I'm not one to do self-potraits. Right now, I'm not very impress with my own self-image. I desperately need an EXTREME MAKEOVER!! But here are some of me that I attempted to take. Beware...can be blinding!






My Precious Kitty

My cat, Baby has this thing with boxes, no matter what size it is. She will find a way to get into it and find a comfortable position. She is content with it. She does not complain. To her, that is her little "sanctuary." And when she thinks she is in trouble, she runs to "hide" in this box.

Now if you can only hear her teenage attitude ... and how talkative she is at times. She is my baby...my princess, my pretty kitty.






Life as a Flower



I am always amazed about flowers. How they become a bud...then into a beautiful bud...and then the most magnificant flower. I find it exciting how this is so related to our own lives. God created us individually unique...first as a fetus... grow as a baby...a precious child...then an adult.



A plant is survived by dirt, water, sometimes with plant food, and the sun. We are survived by each other's love, joy, happiness, trust, and most importantly God's love.



"All things bright & beautiful, All things, great & small....."

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

It's Spring!!



One of my first love in photography was in nature, then potraits and then anything else that came along...only because no matter how much you can be creative in photography, you just know it's exciting and fun.







Today, I adventured outside of my home and found these infront of some of the apartments, and thought they would empower you to appreciate God's love to us ...in a flower!





Monday, April 27, 2009

The Art of Photography



Ever since as a teen, I have had a joy and love for photography. Often my eye see's the art in it. I learned this from my "adopted -dad" Neil Meitzler, a famous artist and photographer from out west. I've also learned alot of other unique things from my Uncle Lenny (a videographer) and my own father (graphic artist).


To some people they see a flower. To me...I see art.



Sunday, April 26, 2009

A New Journey with Photography

I discovered this project after I joined a group at a Mom's blog. I know I didn't start at day 1- because I didn't know it existed until today. But I wanted to jump in anyhow and begin this new and exciting journey to share my own photography work.

I hope you will be able to enjoy what I'm about ready to embark this journey.